What Is Happyness Life?
My dad had written that on the side of a letter he had written me, probably when I was a baby, and around the time that he and my mom separated or divorced.
The perfectionist person that I am, (even tho I'm not the best at spelling or pronouncing words sometimes), didn't care that happyness was spelled with a Y. Not at all. I actually fell in love with Y at that moment.
The letter was found on Father's Day, the same year that he had died.
It was the only letter he had ever written me, and it was penned with such emotion. I am brought to tears every time I read it and curse the fact he never shared it with me sooner.
Happyness is something that we embody in our own, different, ways. Happyness is something that I feel drawn to support folks with finding, embodying, and living. It's not a state of being that is unchanging, and I'm not here to preach toxic positivity- I am here to share the joy, challenges, journey, and my personal reflection, of embodiment.
I've signed up for a Feminine Embodiment Coaching program from the School of Embodied Arts. This is me taking a huge leap of faith with my own self, that I will pursue this dream and wish that I've always had: to help people.
With coaching, I'm not setting out to fix people, but am going to know the fundamentals of how to hold space for humans who seek it. Ask thought-provoking questions. Essentially I will guide people to find the answers within themselves. In theory, if we are in tune with our body, If we are embodied, If we are IN body...we have the answers. It's all about listening. Listening to the actual voice of our higher knowing rather than all of the voices of other people that we've taken in over the years of living.
Why did I think I would be a good coach?
I had, in some respects, a happy life.
I had, in other respects, an unhappy life.
I have, over the years of being alive, had challenging situations that hurt me on mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual levels.
- I've been sexually abused.
- I've been sexually assaulted.
- I've been emotionally and mentally abused during much of my younger years.
- I would even say that I was raped once. (Because no means no.)
- I've been told I was too much.
- I've been manipulated emotionally and mentally.
- I've had an eating disorder.
- I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and had to go on medication a couple of times in my life. (At the time of this writing, managed very well with herbal tinctures from Rose and Eros, along with exercise/movement.)
- I suspect (know) that I am neurodivergent. (There is a massive list I could rattle off as to why I feel this is correct for me.)
- I've experienced grief over a tragic, unexpected loss.
- I've gone down the road of figuring out what self-pleasure means (on many levels).
- I've dealt with how medications can affect libido and the challenges that come with that.
- I'm probably inching my way towards Perimenopause, or already knocking on the door- either way, I'll be experiencing a different stage in my life before too long.
Being this open, this raw, this vulnerable...it's terrifying but also at the same time, I find it fucking liberating. I have always felt drawn to the idea of telling others that they are NOT alone. Someone has to share...throw themselves under the proverbial bus of judgment, in order to send the message.
I've had many traumas over the course of my living this human existence...none of which have taken me down entirely. I definitely have had lows, but I somehow have found my way out of the darkness and into the light.
This is part of my calling, part of my purpose of being here on earth. Not just to write about my experiences, my healing, or the work and effort that I've put into myself. My calling has always been to find some way of helping and supporting other people. That is why I chose to jump in and invest in a program to help me establish building blocks....the fundamentals....so I can do this in a way that will best serve the person who I'll be holding in a container of beautiful safety.
I'm not going to be an "expert" after I complete the coaching program, the beauty of this whole experience is that I will also be working on my own self at the same time...perfection is not mandatory or required. Authentic self, vulnerability, and empathy are some of the key ingredients for the recipe that is coaching.
I invite you to follow me on this journey- and please, ask any questions you may have. I'm not sure how much I'll document of this experience....we shall see.
- Someone who is feeling disconnected from themself, or someone who may be feeling imbalanced with their feminine/masculine energy.
- Someone who is struggling to feel confident in their decision-making. Like something is always holding them back.
- Someone who struggles to experience pleasure in their life or feels they are not worthy of experiencing or receiving pleasure.
- Someone who is struggling with an aspect of their life that may be due to unresolved shadow work/trauma- who has already done some work and is self-aware of it, but needs support to continue forward with their self-work.
- Someone who is feeling like they aren't able to hold themselves accountable for follow-through. (Example- signing up for an online course but stalling out on finishing the self-study program even tho they want to.)
- Someone who has an inner knowing or confidence in something they want to do with their lives, but feel like something is holding them back from pursuing it.
Live Your Happyness Life
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