Skip to main content

Embrace Your Sexy Life Vol. 2

The next thing that has helped me to embrace my sexy life is...wait for it...masturbating.

For those that dislike the word...sorry! I don't care to use a cheeky phrase to describe self lovn'.

Two reasons masturbation is important to me
#1. I'm in my 30's and still figuring out what the heck feels GOOD. Yes. I spent years hardly masturbating because of various reasons. One of which is shame. I'm not sure why I felt so much shame when it came to learning about my body and what gives me pleasure, but shame was there. It's not like I ever got in trouble for masturbating as a child. It's something I absolutely never explored. Maybe subconsciously it's because I had been sexually abused as a 4-year-old, so in my mind, my bits were something that shouldn't be messed around with. Even by my own hand.

Another thing was how I felt that in some way it was almost like cheating on my partner. I think because my ex-husband and I had so many issues that surrounded our sex life, that I felt like I wasn't worthy to have pleasure when I wasn't getting it otherwise. That if I did pleasure myself, it was taking something away from our sexual relationship.

Basically, there were a lot of messed up feelings when it came to ALLOWING myself pleasure.

#2. If I go without sex for too long my brain basically shuts it out. It's like sex doesn't exist, and that's completely awful considering I am married. We had a tough year in 2018 and my sex drive went down the shitter. I'm young, healthy, flexible, yet my brain had shut off any sort of sexual desire due to life. The unfortunate part of that was I had become so comfortable with the vanilla flavor and so petrified of my challenges with orgasming, I found myself continually avoiding sex.

Nooo!
Especially since I secretly love sex. I have for a long time. I had unfortunate situations/issues/experiences that made me feel like me wanting sex/enjoying sex/being sexual was BAD. It's not bad. Not at all. In fact, that side of me was desired and I was afraid to let her out.

To allow Sexy Life is to say you ARE a sexual being, you enjoy sex, and you want to enjoy sex more and make it better. Open yourself up to the possibilities you have denied yourself. This means you need to learn about yourself and what turns you on. What stimulates your senses. What makes you desire it.

Masturbation is one of the best ways to figure out what makes you tick. Vibrations, shapes, spots (like G, A, or whatever spot you're seeking), and what motions feel good. I have not been good to my sexual self because I rarely allowed (yes, I'll say allowed) myself to masturbate. For some reason, I felt like it was wrong of me to do so, because if we weren't having sex, why should I have sex with myself? The biggest killer to my own libido was not having sex with myself. If I had allowed myself to pleasure myself without worry, anxiety, or guilt, I probably would have been having a lot more sex!

I found stimulating my desire, mentally and physically, stimulated my desire for sex. It's completely natural and so very, very human of ourselves to allow self-pleasuring.

Masturbation allows you to safely explore what turns you on. It's not just about touching yourself, but I feel it's also about seeing what else stimulates your senses. Read an erotic novel and explore watching porn- what entices you? Are you visual, mental, or both? Allow yourself to fantasize and do not be afraid to share those desires with your partner. If your partner is anything like Hubby is/was, then they will want to know what turns you on- so you need to explore and exploration is and can be, extremely fun!

Allow yourself to embrace your Sexy Life and pursue self-exploration. You just might surprise yourself with what you find.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pipedream 3Some Rock N Ride Review

When I was given the opportunity to review the 3Some Rock N Ride , I was stoked! I'm really intrigued with finding the perfect DP toy that I could use solo or with partnered sex. This luxury toy sounded like it would be a great mix of what I had already experienced with the 3Some Total Ecstasy, but with slightly different shapes and potential improvements. The Rock N Ride would have a neat little handle to allow you to position the toy and make it move without having to just grind on it. I liked how the anal stimulator was smaller and tapered, because not every time do I want to insert a fuller anal plug right at the get-go, even if it does feel good once in. Sometimes I'm more in the mood for anal teasing instead of the filled up feeling, and the beaded anal plug would do just that. The G-spot stimulator is of similar shape to the 3Some Total Ecstasy, so I knew it would feel good without question. What I was most excited about was the ribbed clitoral stimulator mo

JimmyJane Form 2 Review: Did I Experience Dynamic Stimulation?

During my quest to find a vibrator that I could use during "sexy time" with my hubby, I came across the JimmyJane Form 2 vibrator . It's a hand-held vibrator that is small enough in size to be useful in multiple positions and not get in the way. Being that I enjoy bright, fun colors, I chose the hot pink option. I guess there are times when I could be classified as a "girly girl" and when there is a vibrant shade of fuchsia to be had, I have to have it. Not to mention it is considered a body-safe and Phthalate-free toy! The Form 2 has two motors that make up the device, one in each ear. The instructions give you a variety of ideas on how to use the vibrator for your lower half or even on your nipples. You can hold the vibe in place or squeeze the ears. It's also waterproof, so you can enjoy tub time with a little stimulation if you so desire. I also chose this vibrator due to it having a travel lock, which I feel is a handy thing to have if one

Rocks-Off EveryGirl Rabbit Vibrator: Is It What I Want? Is It What I Need?

Today I will give you my candid take on the beautiful EveryGirl Rabbit Vibrator from the company called Rocks-Off. This vibrator came from SheVibe  and it comes in three colors, of which I chose the teal one because it seemed the happiest! Out of the toys I have experimented with, I had only one rabbit-style vibrator to my name, and I didn't pick it out myself. I didn't dislike the vibrator I already had, but I did wonder what was out there and if there could be some improvements to the style that I have yet to experience. I also wanted to try out something that was under $200, because not everyone is able to spend oodles of cash on a sex aid. The EveryGirl Rabbit Vibrator comes in at $82.99 ( right now at SheVibe it's $59.99! ) In my opinion, a very respectable price point for a rabbit-style vibrator that looks well made and has an independent dual-motor function. What I was most excited about when it came to the vibrator was the dual-motor function that all