It's not that 2019 hasn't had challenging times, because who actually has a perfect year?
I would say, tho, that I found more of myself within the past few months of 2019 than I expected.
I'm excited. I'm actually a little apprehensive, but it's all in a good way.
I'm actually happy that I'm feeling butterflies in my stomach about what I want to accomplish in 2020. As a human, I'm a continual work in progress. I have to believe that I do have enough time in life to progress in the areas I hope to. Take a solo trip via a flight to Arizona. Live life.
Part of my growth was creating this space for me to write more freely. I have cultivated a positive space on all things mountain-bike-centered, but it left a lot of "life" to the wayside. I don't want to say that this space is a less professional area, but it promotes my blunt self that wants to talk about things that can be a source of discomfort for some.
I've broached some of those uncomfortable topics on my other site, but I have always felt like I had to hold myself back with some of the raunchy details of my life. Well, okay, maybe not necessarily raunchy, but there have been some ugly and hurtful bits in my life. I also realized that I do have the potential of hurting feelings. Granted, my feelings had been hurt for quite a long time when I had written that piece. The power of words and emotions can be very strong. I've been told several times that I write well. I'm honest. I put feelings out there in a way that makes it relatable.
What if? What if I could write more freely about things that I've gone through?
Writing for me is a form of therapy. I've wanted to journal, but I have so much to say that my hand hurts before I'm done. I like the freedom a new platform gives me, and I've been able to write more in the past few days than I have in months because I opened up the topic so broadly.
As much as I am afraid at times to bare my soul with certain things, what if in doing so I help someone feel like they aren't alone?
I don't have the capacity in myself at this point to have a book published. In reality, I'm not sure that will be something I ever do (even tho it's been a dream of mine.) So, I do this. Write bluntly and honestly about life. The crappy bits and the good bits. I let my voice be heard, even if I'm the only one coming back to read what I wrote.
I went so far as to create a random Instagram account as well @livehappynesslife
I am posting whatever makes me giggle or feel happy. So there will be a bit of randomness and less philosophy when it comes to what shows up. It's legit #happynesslife